... Not so good

Sep. 21st, 2017 08:09 pm
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Posted by Imke Gr.

Hey Fellas!
Hope you're doing well. I didn't have time to blog yesterday. Sorry. Maybe I'll blog every second day. I'll think about it. How was you day? And what time is it where you live while you're reading this? That would be very interesting for me. In Germany, it's 9:56 pm and it's the 21st september 2017. Unfortunately, my "audition" wasn't today. A lot of students were missing so we're gonna do it on Tuesday. I am so excited. What if they don't like my voice? Or my music taste? Or me? I'm so excited fur their reactions.
I saw one of my old classmates. I saw him when I was riding my bike. He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything, either. Then he showed me something with his left hand. An Obscene Gesture with his middle finger (Do you know what I mean? I don't know what it's called in English ;)). I don't like him anyway. He is the boy who "was my friend" three years ago. Remember? I said I never call anyone a friend when I am not exactly sure. Because of him. He wasn't a friend.
I love blogging. That was something I've missed in my life but I don't have so much time to sit on my computer and answer to comments or commenting on other blogs. So you can add me on Instagram: @imke.gr2002
This is easier for me and for you I guess. We can chat per direct messages. I'd like to.
I'm tired. And I go to bed now. Now it's 10:08 pm.

So long and goodnight


Sep. 20th, 2017 04:15 pm
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Posted by TheChemicalThrowAway

Have you ever had one of them days where you wake up like super depressed? Yup that was today... I keep telling myself "stay single and it will stop you from getting hurt" but sometimes waves hit you pulling you into a sea of loneliness. Nowhere to go, No one to call to. Just isolated in what once was a sea of dreams, that slowly pulls you apart by the seems. I was there drifting more and more into my mind losing myself over time. As I sat there earlier alone against a tree headphones in drowning out the world while I was drowning myself in thoughts. I felt a small tug. I turn around to see someone move behind a tree. I got up and looked. I saw her standing there with a small smile. She instantly got me to smile back. I hug her it felt so comforting, but the only problem is I can't have her.... Cause she has a girlfriend, but she likes me too. It's hard but the right thing to do is... I have no idea... I need help. Her smile just made the waves pull away setting me free, cause she loves me... That's not smart though, because she has another's heart and I don't want to ruin that. It's hell to dwell on the swell felling... but oh well...

Life and stuff

Sep. 19th, 2017 11:58 pm
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Posted by MarianaMCR

Hi :) how's everyone today? good?great

I have been feeling kinda down again, but well idk. I have distanced my self from my friends and i know that's wrong, but idk sometimes it feels like they just got bored of me...?
Anyway, I have been reading A clockwork orange, and I'm really liking it, although is kinda difficult to read :b
I want it to be halloween already


Friends and Auditions

Sep. 19th, 2017 06:53 pm
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Posted by Imke Gr.

Hey Fellas!
I am very sorry for not Blogging yesterday! But I couldn't. I wrote the blog and I wanted to post it but then it said that the spam is triggered and my blog won't be accepted. Do you know why? I can just write some stuff from yesterday. You remember the sarcastic guy? We were talking a lot yesterday. Then I was listening to my teacher while he sat next to me. Suddenly he put his arm around me. Like a friend. I was happy but I didn't know how to react so I didn't turn around to him. Did I do something wrong? Don't worry! I couldn't ever fall in love with him. I'd like to have him as a friend. And he has a girlfriend. I also like her. She helped me when I was sad because of my old classmates. I'd also like to call her a friend. But I can't. I can't call anyone a friend if I am not sure. I did this once and then I noticed that this stupid Boy wasn't a friend. I think that goes on like it will go on.

I have really great News for my biggest dream: I have something like an "Audition" on Thursday. Our School has a band. My old School had also a band but in this band you had to Play an Instrument very well. And I don't. I'm learning how to Play the guitar and the piano. I am learning. But I am not pretty well yet. And I just wanna sing in a band. And the teacher of the band in my School said I can come to them and Show them some Songs and sing them. I am so exited. She said that Punk Rock is a new element in this band. I've Chosen some Songs: Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies ; Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue ; Panic! At The Disco - This Is Gospel ; My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade ; My Chemical Romance - Cancer ; My Chemical Romance - Helena ; My Chemical Romance - The Sharpest Lives ; My Chemical Romance - The Ghost Of You. I Need good luck!

I hope you had a great day!

So Long and goodnight



Sep. 19th, 2017 02:46 pm
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Posted by TheChemicalThrowAway

I write short things and I was wondering if you guys would like them this one is call: ON THE LINE

I stayed by your side, I stayed alive, but you were abusive can you tell me where a noose is! They say it's my life gotta take a swing, how do we keep on with this fling?
You told me you loved me, but you didn't mean it. Now I sit with my food but never eaten it. When you met me you were flirten,
but then all you did was leave me hurten..
You hit me, you burnt me, made me feel like I was nothing which led to the cigarettes I was puffin.
I understand you're from the hood, but you have me misunderstood. Life was good, Life was fine, now
you got me walking on a line. Snap! There I go down again you keep telling me you were my best friend.
I should've seen the sign that you were gonna cut the line, but I keep falling for you. if I'm trying to be honest I'm gonna let it out you weren't even a good kisser and I heard you like to put out.
Ha let me get to the point I gotta open my mind so I can find my way off this line before I run out of time and you pull me right back in again.


Sep. 19th, 2017 02:00 pm
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Posted by BlueBurnsBlack

Does anyone want to be friends outside of here?

I know the Friend Request and the Messaging doesn't work so I was wondering if anyone would like to be friends on Facebook? Instagram? Snapchat? or Email?

If not that's cool we can talk here in the blogs other wise let me know.


Sep. 19th, 2017 02:00 pm
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Posted by BlueBurnsBlack

Does anyone want to be friends outside of here?

I know the Friend Request and the Messaging doesn't work so I was wondering if anyone would like to be friends on Facebook? Instagram? Snapchat? or Email?

If not that's cool we can talk here in the blogs other wise let me know.

Soul Searching ?...

Sep. 18th, 2017 07:19 pm
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Posted by MCRRis

For some time now been feeling lost in dark abyss of uncertainty: Who am I? What am I doing?
State of mind. Stuck. Alone. Couldn't seem to move forward.
Finally. Found balance to stand back on my feet. Forgiveness. Gratitude.
But slowly, one step at a time, I will tread through this darkness hoping to find the light.

If anyone actually reads this maybe could give some insight or help lol :

If anyone knows of some ideas or have experiences that helped you get out of the rut and would like too share.
AND anyone who knows how to make friends lol maybe some tips or just tips to not be so awkward.

<3 Ris


Sep. 18th, 2017 02:40 pm
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Posted by TheChemicalThrowAway

So right now I am listening to the first MCR song and I'm going all the way to the end. Every song. This day is gonna be great

boring update

Sep. 18th, 2017 01:52 pm
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Posted by chpeverill-conti

class at 12, it's about 10 now.
parents got me a bracelet with a charm that said "FUED", or fuck you eating disorder. I like it a lot.
Lola, my dog is so funny. I don't know why but she's just so funny
spray painted some of my overalls;. i make stencils sometimes so i stenciled a black recovery symbol onto my denim overalls and a green vagina on my white overalls. looks awesome!
did not sleep well last night. had a lot of energy and couldn't fall asleep.
that's all i have to say for now i think.


Sep. 18th, 2017 01:19 pm
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Posted by TheChemicalThrowAway

Hey sorry I haven't been on all weekend I worked literally non stop. I'm so exhausted I'm at school right now and right after school. I didn't get off till 2 A.M saturday just to be back at 9 A.M. At this point I realize I have no life anymore...


Sep. 18th, 2017 01:19 pm
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Posted by TheChemicalThrowAway

Hey sorry I haven't been on all weekend I worked literally non stop. I'm so exhausted I'm at school right now and right after school. I didn't get off till 2 A.M saturday just to be back at 9 A.M. At this point I realize I have no life anymore...

dumb life update

Sep. 18th, 2017 01:18 pm
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Posted by Kawaii.Killjoy

Hi everyone, its been a while since I've posted here. how is everyone? I hope you're doing better than I am. my dad, the drunk asshole in my life, started shit with me last Sunday, then threatened my mom and me. he then told me that it was my fault, then took my car. so now I have no car, he demands an apology. which is kinda funny because never once in my life has he ever apologized to me. so because I won't say 'im sorry' hes selling my car. my mom and I still live in the same house as he does. hes just an abusive dick. but anyway whats up with you all? tell me if you'd like! also I started junior year, whoop whoop!

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Posted by gracebrunson19

So - cool. I guess I'll post my writing content on here as well!
Inspiration: Our English teacher told us to hold up our wrists. We thought he was checking to see if we had written the answers on our arms but he was checking to see if any of us had on Apple Watches because some people have been putting the answers on their Apple Watches, (clever, but too complicated) it pissed me off because instead of figuring out WHY students are cheating, and doing something about it, they tell us to stop. So here is what I wrote after I took the test in my English class last week:

"Cheaters Never Win, Winners Never Cheat"
~ grace

"This is why we cheat:

We are terrified. It may not seem like we are but I see it in their eyes when they say:
"I don't even care if I fail anymore."

They care. I'm telling you, they care too much.
They look at their grade card in bitter disgust,
And they're asking themselves,
"Why can't I be one of the smart kids? Why is it so hard for me?"

I'll tell you.

Those smart people don't see it, but we ...
We see right through the system.
We are taught to pass the test,
And we're not taught how to love ourselves.
We're told to stop cheating,
But we're given compulsory tests every minute of the day.

We're taught to get good grades but I'M SO TIRED, I often forget what we did the day before.
Days are blurring into nights, and I love to just exist. But I'm not really there.

And there are times where I wish I didn't exist ...
But don't worry, I'm not suicidal.

This is why we cheat:
We are taught that our GPA is more important than our health.
I don't even think I leave the house anymore.
My parents are wondering why I've been in my room for FIVE HOURS since I got home from school, and my eyelids are becoming familiar with darkness, but
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep
I can't fall asleep.

Why is it ...
What when the principal emails the teachers about students cheating,
We're just told to stop?

When I'm at a Creative Writing Meeting, I always ask myself, "why?" when I hit writer's block. That's what *our teacher* told us to do.

So if you're confused as to why we are cheating, maybe look past the fact that "we're just lazy," and ask yourself WHY?

Maybe they're tired.
Maybe they're stressed.
Maybe they're pressured.
Maybe they're sick.
Maybe ... they WANT to graduate ... and go to college ... and have a good job ... and raise a family but THEY SUCK AT TESTS AND BEING CALM.

Maybe they're having a panic attack at 2 in the morning.

Why do we cheat?
Here is why we cheat.
We're running on 2-4 hours of sleep.
So I'm sorry, I'll try to catch up,
But if it gets me at least a B,
I'll be happy."

~~ 9/15/17


Sep. 18th, 2017 05:09 am
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Posted by gracebrunson19

So I'm absolutely TERRIBLE at organizing my life. I don't know why. I have two planners, I write things down, I'm a part of three extra-curricular activities. Four, if we have a Winter Guard this year ...

But then all the due dates and upcoming events come flying at me like a fucking wave or some shit.

If anyone has any tips on becoming a more organized person, PLEASE comment down below because if any of you have already been through 11th grade, or are in 11th grade currently, YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS, (I mean, from a high school student stand-point). That would be greatly appreciated.

So the extra-curricular activities that I'm a part of are:
1. Musical Theater (which is also my 1st-period class. Apparently some schools don't have that ...)
2. Creative Writing Club
3. Beta Club (any Beta members on the MCR website?)
4. Winter Guard (possibly)

*COMPLETELY OFF SUBJECT: We USED to have a definite Winter Guard, UNTIL 1. When we would practice in the cafeteria, we all would have to move the tables to the two ends of the wall and move them back after practice. That simple, right? Some idiot, (he just graduated) decided to RIDE one of the tables across the room. We're not supposed to do that. So one of the teachers saw him and yelled at him. He should've gotten a simple slap on the wrist but NO. We got kicked out of the cafeteria! All of us! So Mr. What's His Face (because I probably shouldn't say names on here) got it all worked out and we got to practice in the cafeteria again. 2. A FEW WEEKS LATER, I'm on my way to the band room to gather our flags when I see a group of members talking and looking really distraught so I began to worry ...


We had been kicked out of the cafeteria AGAIN, this time, FINAL because we "didn't put the tables back correctly."

*this is my face of literal humor/you've gotta be shitting me/this is what it's like to be at the bottom of the social pyramid!*

I'm pulling the bullshit card right about then because we all KNOW how to put the tables back. We've been moving those tables for years now! So we make a trip to the cafeteria to grab our tarp and extra flags. We stop in the doorway and we're surprised to see that an ENTIRE row of tables was going from the entrance door to the lunch tray door entrance, across the room. Someone to the left of me says:

"We didn't do that ..." but there wasn't anything we could do about it! So we gathered our shit and left. Ever since then, we had to practice in our school lobby, in front of the Milly Hansen Auditorium. The ceilings are like, *this high* and by *this high* I mean we can't even do a simple Money Hand toss without hitting the ceiling. One girl, who was a senior at the time, punched out one of the light tiles on the ceiling with her flag; we put it back and nothing happened. Anytime we had to do a major toss, we had to go over to the main gym and do it there, (for example, a Strip Toss Exchange, we had to practice that in the Main Gym, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOYS' BASKETBALL PRACTICE. You should've seen the glares they gave us when we would drop our flags! Uch.

And so ever since then, we don't have an official place to practice. I had to quit Winter Guard in the middle of the season last year, because - well ... that's a story for another time. (CLIIIIIFF HANGER, HANGING FROM A CLIIIIIIIIIIFFF. AND THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED CLIFF HANGEEERRRR. *can't. hold. on. much. LONGEEEERRRR*)


Anyway, I've made the executive decision to go down to our NEW vice principal to talk to him about giving us the cafeteria back (in a nicer form of wording) since our OLD vice principal went on to burden another school, (he was a good guy but he was really uptight and too strict).

So that's another thing I have to add to the list of things I have to do before the thing on the thingy thing ... *sigh*

It's 12:30 A.M.

I don't know, I've been so busy, my room looks like shit, I have laundry scattered all over the floor, I can't see the surface of my desk, I haven't made my bed in weeks ... it's brutal. The next "break" we have is Fair Weekend.

EXPLANATION: I live in Auburn, IN. And every fall, the town of Auburn holds a fair. They drag in rides, a ferris wheel, food trucks, we have a stage somewhere in town, we just got another stage installed, it's really popular in the area, especially since Auburn is a VERY small town ... well, our entire school including DeKalb High School, probably some people from Garrett High School and basically from the entire area show up. There are A LOT of students who miss school because they're showing animals and I think we get either three days or a week off of school ...

Other than that, our fall break starts on October 5th and ends on October 15th, (officially on October 13th, but there's also Saturday and Sunday). I've been counting down to that day where I can focus on sweaters ... and coffee ... and chilly weather (hopefully. Come on, Indiana. Work with me here) ... autumn leaves ... sleep ... no anxiety/stress ... *this is me smiling a really goofy smile right about now*

Order of seasons I prefer best: *ehem*

1. Autumn. Duh.
2. Winter (Christmas AND my birthday five days after!)
3. Summer (vacation. Not the heat. Anything BUT the heat. I just like getting more than four hours of sleep)
4. Spring. (This actually goes from the month of January to April/May-ish because that's the worst/and most stressful time of the year for me. Tests, more tests, finals ... I might cry).
5. The second season of Riverdale and Stranger Things. That counts, right? October, baby!

I believe I'm getting off topic on the fact that I'm SO disorganized, I can't even organize my blog posts ... I'm going to TRY and wake up at 5:30 A.M. tomorr- four hours and forty-five minutes ... to straighten my hair ... do laundry really fast ... anything really.

I guess I'll talk about my weekend?

Saturday was our Homecoming Dance. It was pretty fun. There were pros and cons:

1. I danced my ass off. I can't dance but BOI. I'm sore. Like, the backs of my legs hurt and I can't move my head, my neck hurts so bad!
2. My dress was BEAUTIFUL! Aside from my shoes, I ditched them within ten minutes of being there.
3. They played A FEW good songs. By that, I mean "Don't Stop Believing," "The Cupid Shuffle" "Get Funky" or whatever that song is that gets white people turnt, and "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
4. They had a free photo booth/shoot thing and there were props and me and eight other friends took some cute pictures. We're still waiting for all the copies though.

1. There was a guy there, and not to discriminate, this doesn't matter, but he was in Special Ed, I believe because I haven't seen him in my life but he was at the dance and he had this shoe string/tie around his neck and stood a little too close to me. Well, anyways, during the dance, he goes up to me THE FIRST TIME (keep that in mind) and holds his hands out, like I'm supposed to do the fucking tango with him or whatever, but I'm a decent human being so I danced with him. This consisted of us swaying WAY too fast, and him grinding the fuck against me. This made me VERY uncomfortable so I stepped away, thanked him and found my friends. A few minutes later, he goes up to me AGAIN and holds his arms out the same way. I danced with him again because I didn't know what the FUCK this guy was doing, and he still grinded against me. A few moments later, he asks for my number. I told him the HONEST TRUTH and said that I didn't have a cell phone. After that, he starts going up to a few of my female friends and held his arms out to them. My new friend, Emma had to act like one of our guy friends was her boyfriend so this dude would leave her alone, he did the same thing to my best friend, and another one of my friends, then he does the same thing to me TWO MORE TIMES. AFTER I TOLD HIM "NO THANK YOU" TWICE. Like, no means no, buddy ol' pal! And while I'm dancing with my friends, I SWEAR. TO. GOD. He took his sweaty hand and dragged it across my back. And this kid's back is sweatier than my dad's bald head when he takes his hard-hat off after work! This dude is impossibly sweaty. So I take my Best Friend, Chloe and go tell one of the teacher chaperone's about it and she says, "if I see him, I'll talk to him" and I'm thinking, "NOOOO NO NO NO, you tell him to leave!" because she also says, "oh he does this at every dance!" BUT YOU YELL AT GIRLS WHO ARE TWERKING? AND YOU DON'T REPRIMAND BOYS FOR TOUCHING GIRLS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT? Uch. But yeah, I didn't see him for the rest of the night but this dude ... woah. Made me so uncomfortable.

2. I was supposed to go to the dance with this guy I was dating but he broke up with me about two weeks before the dance so I didn't have anyone to go with and I guess I was still ... like, affected by it. So the DJ started playing this slow song, "A Thousand Years, Christina Perri" and I danced with this guy that I dated back in the 8th grade, who's still hung up on this girl who is one of my best friends, and is annoying as shit I'm telling you but he had just gotten done having a breakdown over her (an hour before? Two? So I slow danced with him, and we were getting pretty close and I mean ... I'm nice to him but that's because I'm nice to EVERYONE unless they give me an excuse to NOT BE, so I always talk to him while other people treat him like shit, so then we're like, dancing and hugging, (sort of. I don't know.) And then, okay ... this is what happened:

*I pull back*
"Oh, what the fuck."
*I fucking lean in and kiss him*
He pulls back and started stumbling over his words saying shit like, "I wasn't expecting that" "I hope I don't have lipstick on my face" *my lipstick had faded by then* "Well, son, this is how you were born." some shit like that and I'm practically chanting the words, "death, death, DEATH, DEATH" because that was a really big mistake, like, I just DID that. I don't know if I was lonely or what but I DON'T LIKE HIM AT ALL. He's very physically attactive and all, but if I spent the rest of my life with him, I'd end up killing him. He's THAT annoying.

But I still felt bad because I thought back to that dude who kept trying to dance with me and how uncomfortable I felt with him being that close and I just jumped and kissed some guy who still liked another girl and he never agreed to that. So I felt terrible. I started stuttering about how it was a mistake, and "I don't know why I did that" and before we left the dance at around 11 PM, he said he wanted to talk to me but he forgot what he was going to say and then we left.

I was giddy, I was sweaty, I was sore from dancing, I was caffeinated ... I don't know ...

3. It was really hot in that gym. There was NO air circulation
4. They played TERRIBLE music. Jon and I wrote down "The Sound of Silence," by Disturbed on the song list and the DJ (who plays bass and actually listens to ... well I'm not sure but I think he listens to heavy metal) completely skips over it and plays "My Anaconda Don't" or whatever the hell it's called and I look at Jon like, "THIS over The Sound of Silence?" He played TERRIBLE POP/SHITTY MUSIC THE ENTIRE TIME. What the hell is that song that starts out like, "raindrop, drop top" because I'll never know!
5. The music was really loud and I had a headache by 9:30.

The dance wasn't all bad, I had a great time! I was with my friend, I kissed a dude, (I've never been kissed though. Ouch.) and we took some adorable-ass pictures!

Sunday: I ate sushi. I have two left over Phoenix Rolls in the fridge and I'm seriously considering sneaking into the kitchen and scarfing them down ... nah. The fridge door is too loud and the fridge light is too bright ... *sigh of sadness*

Well, it's about 1:08 right now so I must be off to bed!
It's a long blog entry, but I think some people will read it! :)

Have a lovely night/morning/day every one! Until next time!

It got to the point, where I had to drag Chloe away from where this dude was trying to ask HER to "dance"

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Posted by My Romance Will Always Be Chemical

So I made one post on here a month ago and haven't since then. I have visited the site and kept myself up to date in this community, but I have not written anything because I was afraid to say the one thing that I would like to say. I am feeling courageous today, so I am going to share with the My Chem community. I am a 22 year old man and I am bisexual and confused about my identity. I have battled with this for years and have not told anybody close to me, no family or friends, and I have always been self-conscious about who I am. I am not ready to tell my family, but I am ready to embrace who I am. I love you all and I already feel better sharing this with you :)

Warm Fuzzy Feeling

Sep. 17th, 2017 11:32 pm
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Posted by Charbarmanning

I know this is the MCR site but I just thought I'd mention this because this band is in the same scene. I just finished watching teens react to Green Day and I just have a warm fuzzy feeling inside because of many reasons:

1. The teens were all really nice and no one said that they didn't like the music

2. They played songs that Green Day played live when I went to see them live in July and I was just getting random memories of how they performed some songs and of the catchphrases I left the show with. "Are you calling me a cock sucker?" - BJA July 2017. I kept saying in my head "when they played this live they" everytime a new song would come on

3. It reminded me of how old Green Day is and how people from different generations all love the band. At the show, I saw like 9 year olds as well as people who looked to be in their 50s all there to see such an iconic band. I went to see blink 182 in the same week as when I went to see Green Day but the blink show didn't seem to have the same sort of community vibe in the stands as the Green Day show (may of had something to do with the fact that most of the people around us at the blink show were either drunk or just seemed to only know All The Small Things out of the songs on the setlist). My dad has American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown on CD and he borrowed my Dookie, Nimrod, Warning and Revolution Radio CDs to put them on his phone soon after I'd bought them

4. It reminded me of how i came across Green Day. I mean I've known of Green Day for ages. I knew their name and their music I just never linked the two. I remember when I first really linked Green Day to their music when I started watching Kerrang TV and how most of the songs that they played I already knew because my dad had the song on his phone plus his CDs I mentioned earlier. It was like rediscovering a timecapsule of all the songs my dad has ever sung around the house when I started watching Green Day segments on Kerrang TV XD

Sorry if this just seems to be a bit weirdly written. I kept adding in sentences but that would make the sentence after make no sense. I'm sure if I didn't stop myself now I would've written for hours! Plus it's a school night and I should be sleeping right now. Tomorrow in English we are writing reviews on either films, books or albums and I have picked American Idiot because it's a concept album so there's tons to write about (plus the first concept album that came to my head was The Black Parade but for our previous writing we did in English I chose to write about Gerard Way and he's an idol so I thought that having more MCR would just be a bit too much)


~ Charbarmanning ~
~ Charlotte, Charlottie or Cha Cha Slide ~

late night and boredom

Sep. 17th, 2017 07:59 pm
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Posted by chpeverill-conti

last night i got home at 2:30 am. so tiered. dylan slept over.that was nice.

i have two chapters of reading for tomorrow's class. and studying for a quiz on tuesday. but i can't focus so it;s not getting done.

i also need to clean my room but i'm too tiered for that. but dyl and i slept till noon or so and it's 4 now so i would feel bad sleeping THAT much.

i need to have pm snack soon

wishing i had more energy and things to do and structure. being out of highschool is really hard for me because theres no structure and no one to walk you through

my friend katie is away at college but her parents are selling her old house. the open house is today and i want to go with savannah but she's not answering her text...